July 4, 2020

Online love & infidelity. We're in the game, what are the rules? | Michelle Drouin | TEDxNaperville



Have you found love, sex, or intimacy online? Millions of us have—and we are constantly building and maintaining connections with friends, relationship partners, and lovers through the intricate paths of the world wide web. But how is this all affecting romantic relationships? And what rules should we have with our partners about online behaviors?

A developmental psychologist, Dr. Michelle Drouin studies the effects of technology on literacy, communication, and relationships. She also studies the roles of technology in teaching and learning. Dr. Drouin’s research on sexting and mobile phone addiction has attracted international attention, and she regularly does interviews for television, radio, newspapers, and magazines. Her research has been cited in a number of prominent news sources including CNN, NPR, MSNBC, CBS News, The New York Times, Huffington Post, Reuters, Men’s Health, Parenting Magazine, and Psychology Today.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

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Comments
  • Just deleted access to all of my social media apps, slightly worried that I won’t find someone who is on the same path because most are online

  • Newsflash: if you wonder whether you're cheating…you probably are. But after that, the topic of infidelity is simple: if you are a man you must be destroyed and if you are female then you are "finding yourself" after having been neglected or abused.

  • This video helped me understand why I feel so rejected when I'm cheated on with online dating. I'm older and figured the older men would be more honest. Not true! At this point I will probably give up on online dating. It really hurts when you think this is the one then the texts become less or you get that text sent to you in error. Then you know it's time to move on…over and over.

  • Even before dating apps, at school the courting etiquette is that you talk online. You talk online with the person you are courting, this makes it confidential, nobody other than you two knows about the fact that you are 'talking' even if you do officially get together there is hardly ever evidence of it anywhere, it's all a big secret. There are no risks and if you don't progress to being in a relationship, all it was was 'talking online'

  • I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him through Gmail : Worldcyberhackers or WhatsApp: ‪+1 (267) 877‑3020

  • Bad one! Ok, first of all, there is lots of problem nowadays and yes social media could increase some of the problems, but that's not the case! So we should share passwords and do not see other people to protect our relationship? I saw lots of couples with this attitude and do not like it at all. they have lots of unhealthy relationship signs! the just do not break because they think they don't have other options! not because they're happy in the relationship! So ok I do believe there are bad problems but this video increases the biases. You have to study more and find the real problems! Why do they think all their friends are available? why they want to compare instead of learning and growth.

  • Love is awesome but smartness is much more important in a relationship. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. I discovered my husband was cheating on me through the help of an ethical hacker ( Cyberhackingsage )who helped cloned his cellphone and i was able to read his messages and uncover my husband’s infidelity without having to touch his phone. It was a sad experience for me but I’m glad i found out all his secrets and how he planned on using this Pandemic to get back at me. All i did was share my husband’s cell number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to his Facebook, WhatsApp, GPS location, Call Logs and Text Messages (both deleted and incoming ones) with a remote link to a programmed Application on my phone. I’m here in Florida and able to access my husband’s phone…even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them Via Gmail ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text and WhatsApp them on +15713758467…thank me later

  • every 20 year-old should mandatorily watch this. I just broke up with my girlfriend and this was something that would have helped the relationship as a whole.

  • Do I really need YouTube as much as i thought no I never needed it before so I’ll go back to
    Exercise videos on here meditation and qui gong stuff and relaxing music oh and of course origami tutorials. I’m not interested in all the psychology jargon and having media try to tell me how to think or feel nope this is another reason to stay away from media as much as possible

  • Yes I’m a woman in her 30’s that is also true all of it every thing I ever said is true no wonder I was bullied because all the fake people online can’t stand real people well I’m real and proud of it and I definitely don’t belong online I made the right choice to get away from Facebook no wonder it didn’t work well for me I don’t mix with media and fake culture

  • I am Katie Hewitt who lives in Woodstock Ontario Canada stands just under 6 feet tall long brown hair ( now with blonde highlights from being outside) and everything else about my physical appearance is 100 percent true what I shared about my life myself and everything is 100 percent true and I got nothing to hide this is me take it or leave it if you don’t like it I’m not making a new one for anyone.

  • I must be really weird because I have never thought like this my Facebook had mostly family members on it

  • Study oh here we go another know it all online with statistics and numbers I don’t buy numbers and statistics

  • Love and bonding is not a psychology it’s something that we are born with love and empathy there is not a cold hearted psychology to love sorry lady I don’t buy what you say

  • Well I’m not in any dating apps or sights never have been I’m a small collective of people who has never used or been on a dating app or sight and I’m proud of it and I will never ever go on one or participate in online dating.

  • Love is awesome but smartness is much more important in a relationship. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. I discovered my wife was cheating on me through the help of an ethical hacker (Cyberhackingsage )who helped cloned her cellphone and i was able to read her messages and uncover my wife’s infidelity without having to touch her phone. It was a sad experience for me but I’m glad i found out all her secrets and how she planned on using this Pandemic to get back at me. All i did was share my wife’s cell number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp, GPS location, Call Logs and Text Messages (both deleted and incoming ones) with a remote link to a programmed application on my phone. I’m here in Florida and able to access my wife’s phone…even while she was away in Canada cheating on me. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them Via Gmail ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text and WhatsApp them on +15713758467…thank me later

  • Time to feel the big sad towards my boyfriend even though he hopefully isn’t doing any of this

  • 13:25 beware girls, guys are lying about their income online, the most important info in this video
    17:37 you wasted your time
    17:54 what she is trying to say all those 18 minutes (you are welcome)

  • to answer your question how many times people have to walk up to someone these days and face rejection: All the time for men, pretty much never for women.

  • One of the most important videos on YouTube, listen, be afraid and learn.
    Get off social media people!

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